Comparing a child's abilities with another child is one of the rudest mistakes by parents/adults in our society.
However, it is indeed very difficult for the adults not to compare kids in these days. It needs a lot of conscious practice from the adults to change their comparing mindset. And it is worth it.
Even a slightest act of comparison is a very big deal in the world of children. For example, comparing a child's day-to-day activities like his eating habits, sleep, play, etc, may seem to ordinary incidents for an adult. But it is not the same for a child. In a child's mind, all levels of comparisons are processed alike and have huge impacts irrespective of the importance given by an adult.
There is nothing like "important" and "not-so-important" things or emotions in a child's viewpoint. His mind treats everything alike. Hence there is no difference whether the comparison is about his studies or the toys he plays with or the food he eats or his friends.
As a mother of twin toddlers, I too find it very difficult not to compare one with the other. I am being very cautious in handling situations where comparisons arise in my mind. Both of my kids are two different individuals who are unique in their ways. However, there has been incidents where I unintentionally compare them and the effects make me guilty for my act. I have made it a resolution not to compare children even in my mind. Each child is unique and their world is way different from adults'. I believe if a child is independent to grow in his true nature, he/she will be ready to become a responsible and compassionate adult. All that is needed from the adult is to set the right environment and provide just the required assistance for the child.
However, it is indeed very difficult for the adults not to compare kids in these days. It needs a lot of conscious practice from the adults to change their comparing mindset. And it is worth it.
Even a slightest act of comparison is a very big deal in the world of children. For example, comparing a child's day-to-day activities like his eating habits, sleep, play, etc, may seem to ordinary incidents for an adult. But it is not the same for a child. In a child's mind, all levels of comparisons are processed alike and have huge impacts irrespective of the importance given by an adult.
There is nothing like "important" and "not-so-important" things or emotions in a child's viewpoint. His mind treats everything alike. Hence there is no difference whether the comparison is about his studies or the toys he plays with or the food he eats or his friends.
As a mother of twin toddlers, I too find it very difficult not to compare one with the other. I am being very cautious in handling situations where comparisons arise in my mind. Both of my kids are two different individuals who are unique in their ways. However, there has been incidents where I unintentionally compare them and the effects make me guilty for my act. I have made it a resolution not to compare children even in my mind. Each child is unique and their world is way different from adults'. I believe if a child is independent to grow in his true nature, he/she will be ready to become a responsible and compassionate adult. All that is needed from the adult is to set the right environment and provide just the required assistance for the child.
