Effects of comparisons in children

   Comparing a child's abilities with another child is one of the rudest mistakes by parents/adults in our society.
   However, it is indeed very difficult for the adults not to compare kids in these days. It needs a lot of conscious practice from the adults to change their comparing mindset. And it is worth it.
   Even a slightest act of comparison is a very big deal in the world of children. For example, comparing a child's day-to-day activities like his eating habits, sleep, play, etc, may seem to ordinary incidents for an adult. But it is not the same for a child. In a child's mind, all levels of comparisons are processed alike and have huge impacts irrespective of the importance given by an adult.
   There is nothing like "important" and "not-so-important" things or emotions in a child's viewpoint. His mind treats everything alike. Hence there is no difference whether the comparison is about his studies or the toys he plays with or the food he eats or his friends.
   As a mother of twin toddlers, I too find it very difficult not to compare one with the other. I am being very cautious in handling situations where comparisons arise in my mind. Both of my kids are two different individuals who are unique in their ways. However, there has been incidents where I unintentionally compare them and the effects make me guilty for my act. I have made it a resolution not to compare children even in my mind. Each child is unique and their world is way different from adults'. I believe if a child is independent to grow in his true nature, he/she will be ready to become a responsible and compassionate adult. All that is needed from the adult is to set the right environment and provide just the required assistance for the child.
   

Development of Language in kids

Every parent wants his/her child to develop skills in language and communicate with ease. However it is not really necessary to teach the child to speak a language during his infancy as he has the uncanny capacity to absorb languages. It is indeed a natural process that a child learns to speak the language that is primarily spoken around his close circle/his home.

There was a time when there were more people in the house and very less or no gadgets. The child in the house had lots of experiences with different sounds from different people around him. But these days, what he child misses is the direct connection with people which directly affects his development in the field of language.

Natural and effective development in language can happen in a child only with human connections and not with gadgets or technologies. 

Nowadays most parents neglects/miss  the joy of conversation with their kids. Chatting with kids and singing to them is actually a win-win strategy where the parent get immense relaxation/happiness and at the same time the child gets the needed attention/energy for him to utilize his potential towards his development. Reading is another important activity that a parent needs to do to the child where the child's thinking and imagining capacity is strengthened. This way, the child's receptive skills, thinking capacity, imagination enhances which eventually leads to linguistic development.

A child deprived of sufficient communication at home definitely needs additional help in the field of language. This situation in turn affects his overall imagination, thinking capacity and problem solving skills in the long run.

Ample conversation with the child and reading stories to the child are the two important help that should be given to the child to work on his development towards good communication and command over a language. Moreover the child gets confidence in learning a new language later on. It is the parent's / the adult's responsibility to set the right environment for the child to grow in all aspects towards conquering great heights in the field of language. 

Emotions in Early Years

The most important need of a child is the need of independence. This holds good for his/her emotions as well. most often parents / adults try to suppress the child's emotions instead of understanding them. in many occasions we tend to provide solutions to by-pass their feelings rather than drive towards solving their problems.

When a child says he/she is scared of something or couldn't do a task, we see this as a very small issue and can handle just like that. But it is a big deal for the kid. I have seen many parents who think they follow gentle parenting, say to the kid, "You are a brave kid and so you should not cry / get scared". This is a wrong guidance which would lead to suppression of emotions. This is nothing but emotional force towards the child. Though the adult here do not literally shout at the child, he/she forces the child to hide the natural emotion. If a child hides the natural flow of emotions, it may come out as a faulty / negative behavior like violence, guilt, anger or restlessness which directly affects the child's development.

As parents or as a responsible adults, one should first learn to listen to what a child says or expresses. The child should get the confidence that his/her feelings when expressed, will be taken care by the parents. Else, the child may not be able to learn how to handle, regulate and use his feelings in a right way. This situation affects him throughout his life.

Parents have the greatest responsibility of aiding a child through the course of his development and help the child to help himself. Let the child bring out his/her natural emotions. Listen to the child. Understand his/her difficulties or fear or any other negative emotions. Simplify the difficulty. Suggest ways to get to the solution. Help the child to route his negative emotions gradually towards positive emotions. This way parents can make the child naturally satisfied and most importantly win the child's faith.

For example, if  a child is unable write as expected by the teacher, he/she may not tell you/ the parent directly. Instead he/she might show aversion towards the very thought of it. Crying, anger, silence, unwillingness to go to school and a lot of other expressions might happen in the child. Have patience to bring out the actual feeling from the child. Listen to her/him and understand that this is a real big deal for the kid. Try to simplify. Offer more play time with motor activities, more breaks (no bribes for sure), more stories (no morals at the end of the story please). Let the child take her own time. And it works,

For any emotion from a child, the parents' first responsibility is not to suppress the child's feeling. Instead the parents/adults should understand as well as help the child to understand his emotions and handle in a right way.

My Way

I'm here....in a journey called life
A world full of strife....
My pathway was strewn with stone
It seemed so cold to walk alone....
Looking back, I was hoping someone to say
I'm here to guide through your way....
Until I made friends with the cold and stone
No longer I'm alone.....

Good N Bad

Is there anything called GOOD and BAD? What / who is deciding the criteria for good and bad? As far as I know, whatever is tagged as good happens to be accepted by the society. And whatever in not accepted by the majority in a socieety were tagged as bad. Since my childhood I have been told my life will be good if I'm good and bad if I'm bad. Though I somehow used to this belief, it keeps me wondering what are these GOOD and BAD whenever I hear anything inhumane.

I Me Myself

Thou art A woman of Strength, defy life's obstacles. 
           A woman of Confidence, believe in yourselves.
Woman, thou art strong, Stand it all;
           Stand proud to say it aloud... I am THE WOMAN.

They say I am Strong; For some, I am weak;
They say I am lovely; For some, I am not;
They think I am not like any woman they ever knew.
But all I am is a woman I can be; The one I want to be;
Not the one I should be or THEY want me to be;
All I am is MY woman.

Stand

Perspective towards life change with time.When I think about perspectives, I feel really strange. My opinion towards things have changed upside down as years go by. Is it only for me or it happens everywhere? My stand on various aspects of life has been changed and on thinking back, I'm surprised to witness my own change. Whatever happens to us or by us have a greatest part for SITUATIONS. Unpredictable/unexpected situations may change the entire mindset of people about life who were the victims of such situations. I feel I was a different person before around two years now and yet to find out which of these both is the real me.